Even Europe some think the older lady I like is worth it and I'm not worth anything.

QED

"I don't care!"  Muah ha ha!

People getting *sentimental doesn't affect / "get to" me ... "It doesn't concern me."

*sentimental - 1. of or prompted by feelings of tenderness, sadness, or nostalgia. 2. (of a person) excessively prone to feelings of tenderness, sadness, or nostalgia. (link)

I mean, what does Europe do for Europeans that the US doesn't for Europeans?

Do people expect great respect in Europe or just if it's with the US, from the US?

How did I get to be involved?

Is it dangerous to be successful in the US?

Do you think Germans are looking to confide in America in a funny way?

College used to be fun when I was 18 but is depressing now.

I was thinking about posting how I was depressed...

...and the people involved monitoring me in private said, "...and you couldn't believe it wasn't it," a little hysterically.

Anyway, people are trying to hurt me, and my relationship with an older lady I like is a little dodgy, with the excuse she is seduced into hypnosis by taking my fame, of people punishing me for no good reason.  It seems like I had everything for me and then I had nothing left.  I feel a sense of annoyance by some people out there knowing her.  Also, I feel more separated from her.  Otherwise, people keep bringing her up and it may make them happy but it makes me feel more lonely or alone, secluded and annoyingly sheltered for no reason.

The world is waiting for something bad to happen to me, and it's presently like it's still holding its breath to happen where I can't enjoy it ... but somehow.

(continued)

Here is a post from another blog of mine:

"Ellen's mom put her in the sun young so her hair would be white, and her skin used to be dark, like an orange, as a baby and toddler.

It seems sometimes all Ellen wants to say is that only blondes get it.  However, she seemed rebellious of her mom making her so stimulated and with white hair, so she didn't even do it.  She might think nothing happened in the world because it's only okay with white hair.  What if it's true?  Maybe, we can put an end to her frustrations and unwanted power."

What if it's the plain truth Ellen DeGeneres does not get ultimate stimulation still?

Poll I Made

(film|boards)

Just say something pleasurable, and it's for Germans.

Didn't Germans used to have respect for decent Americans?

So many Germans are unsuccessful and are racial brats.

I'm having tea with my Ritz crackers and peanut butter, waiting for the tea to cool.

I know Baby Boomers and Early Generation X gave up on Generation X because they already expressed their disgust and moved on to Generation Z.

I'm thinking of having Ritz crackers and peanut butter (always get Peter Pan.)

So, Germans think anyone feeling more pleasured or being more successful than them means, "It's a Jew, again!"

In some ways at some times, I wonder if only futuristic people like Asians and people who are mixed with Asian and white.  However, a lot of the people mixed with white and Filipino had a hard time and became the poster image for the success of people mixed with white and any kind of "Oriental" Asian, like Japan to Vietnam.

The only gift and talent at some point some Baby Boomers have is maybe people born in the late 1980s and early 1990s are better than me and deserve better and are scrambling to fix them and ruin my life in the process.

Why are good people like all submitting to bad things?

Germany thinks it's an easy ticket to prestige, rather than people who excel from the US.

Easy but Stressful - School Online

School is working out, but it's still stressful.

I mean the classes aren't too hard to succeed in.

I'm studying online at The Baptist College of Florida.

I'm doing music so have extra responsibilities: private lessons, ensemble, and watching performances.

I'm in 4 academic setting courses, otherwise.

Also, I take the bus to the ensemble and performances because I don't have a car.  The ensemble is only one time a week, Sunday nights, then I wake up late Monday and don't accomplish much then, my main day off it seems.

Oh, I just find it's hard to spend any time on it, at times.  Who knows what it'd be like not in an art or performing life?

Mardi Gras is almost over.

(link)

Late

Could I really fall asleep?

I know!

Get violin over with, which I enjoy/like.

Should I study or do homework?

I did the exercise.  I had an organic fudge popsicle.  Now, I'm coming to my senses as I post here ... and go online!

My little brother is in the shower, and I'm waiting to use the restroom so I can do a beginner cardio workout for 1/2 hour, including warmup and cooldown.  I've slept most of the day and been eating too.  I have to start my homework.  It's Tuesday.  Sundays are late because of orchestra.  I went shopping the next day without enough sleep.  So, I slept more, and Wednesday will be here soon.  I don't think I have much else to do this week, just help my dad with something for the car one day and maybe eat out with his cousin, have to help him if he gets to eat out with her, too, with his walker.  It might be another crazy week.  We might see his cousin next week if not this week.  My grades are pretty good mostly.