College used to be fun when I was 18 but is depressing now.

I was thinking about posting how I was depressed...

...and the people involved monitoring me in private said, "...and you couldn't believe it wasn't it," a little hysterically.

Anyway, people are trying to hurt me, and my relationship with an older lady I like is a little dodgy, with the excuse she is seduced into hypnosis by taking my fame, of people punishing me for no good reason.  It seems like I had everything for me and then I had nothing left.  I feel a sense of annoyance by some people out there knowing her.  Also, I feel more separated from her.  Otherwise, people keep bringing her up and it may make them happy but it makes me feel more lonely or alone, secluded and annoyingly sheltered for no reason.

The world is waiting for something bad to happen to me, and it's presently like it's still holding its breath to happen where I can't enjoy it ... but somehow.